Full Frontal Fantasy Page 3

  I tried to mentally go through my contact list and remember who’d told me to give them a resume if I ever wanted to make a move. I loved this company. I didn’t want to make a move.

  “Look, Jen— I mean Celeste, I really thought we had a spark before and—”

  “A spark?” Sure, I’d felt it too, but you couldn’t risk your whole life over a spark, especially when that spark was years younger than you and was your employee.

  Shit! I’d slept with one of my employees! Of course, I didn’t know he’d been hired at the time, but still, once rumors got started, the story would change and I’d be a sexual harasser—me!

  I bowed my head, closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my forehead, hoping when I opened them he’d have disappeared, a figment of my imagination.

  “Celeste, I’d really like to talk,” the figment said.

  My eyes popped open. He stared into them for a moment and my knees got a bit wobbly. A part of me wanted to have that talk with him—and a whole lot more. The stupid, crazy, horny part, that is. My head was swimming. Coincidences happened every day. But was that really what this was? I examined his face. Blue eyes, square jaw, full, kissable lips. Classically handsome. But stalkers didn’t go around with signs on their foreheads.

  “Please go out to your desk while I try to absorb what’s happened here?”

  “Sure.” He turned and strode out of my office, shutting the door behind him.

  I sat down at my desk and tried to pull myself together. I picked up the phone. Maybe I should call human resources and ask Maggie some questions about this guy. But what would I say when she wanted to know why I’d asked? He was just filling in temporarily. I grabbed my coffee cup and watched it shake all the way to my mouth. The coffee was already cold.

  Cold. God, I’d been pretty cold, hadn’t I? This Ryan hadn’t treated me impolitely in any way. He’d seemed genuinely happy to see me and wanted to talk, but I’d ignored him and sent him away like a naughty child.

  I remembered the moment we’d shared that night at Fantasm, when he’d kissed me, his eyes shining with something that felt like so much more than lust. He’d asked me to stay…and I’d run out on him.

  But surely he could understand why. Or could he? Maybe I’d just graduated from being the woman who ran out on him to being a royal bitch of a boss—one he’d love to get revenge on by telling everyone in the office about her lurid fantasy.

  In fact, he didn’t have to tell them. He could show them. He had the script somewhere in his possession.

  I stood, sprinted to the door and opened it. “Ryan?” I said more calmly than I felt. “Could you come in here for a sec?”

  “Sure,” he replied, and followed me into my office. I nodded toward the door and he closed it. “I’m sorry about the way I acted,” I began. “It’s just that I was assured anonymity and there was supposed to be virtually no chance of us running into each other—”

  “‘Virtually’ being the operative word, I suppose,” he interjected.

  “Yes. I guess you would have filled out all those Fantasm forms before you got this job…”

  He stood listening quietly, but there was something unnerving about the confidence in his stance. You’d think he’d have been a little worried about this situation, considering he was brand-new.

  “Regardless,” I went on. “I’ve worked my way up in this company for fifteen years. I know it’s probably hard for you to fathom doing something for fifteen years at your age.”

  “I’m thirty-two years old,” he replied. “And there are some goals I’ve worked toward for a very long time. But you certainly don’t look like you could have done anything for fifteen years. Did you start here right out of high school?” His eyes eased down my body as if they remembered exactly what it looked like out of my tweed suit.

  I was flattered down to my toes. This fine specimen of male hotness had seen me completely naked and he was telling me I looked too young to have worked here so long. I mean, people had seemed surprised at my age before, but they were at least my age or older. I never would have imagined that someone—

  Wait. He was playing me. He was a charmer who knew he needed to get back on the boss’s good side. I recomposed myself and got back to business.

  “Anyway, my point is, due to the nature of this company and my position here, I can’t afford a scandal.”

  His face took on an annoyed expression and I felt as though I was about to be reprimanded.

  “I agreed to total confidentiality,” he said. “I take my promises very seriously. As you remember, I fulfilled our bargain to the letter.”

  Oh boy, did I remember. He’d shown up exactly on time, worn the costume required and hadn’t left one line out of my lurid little role-play.

  I realized my chest was heaving and my eyes had fallen closed for a moment. When I opened them I was greeted with a smirk, as though he was trying to stifle a victorious grin.

  God, he was handsome, whether in his warden clothes or in a dark suit. I couldn’t help but notice how the cobalt button-down he was wearing made his eyes seem bluer today.

  Focus, Celeste. He can ruin your life. “Can you tell me where your copy of that role-play is?” I asked.

  “In my email.”

  “Can you access that from any computer?” I said it as if I were asking any old employee for some innocuous document.

  Ryan lost the last remnants of his grin and his eyes narrowed. “Sure, why?”

  “Would you mind pulling it up on my computer and deleting it?” I asked.

  He hesitated. “Yes, I would mind.”

  “What?” I wanted to wrap my fingers around his thick neck and strangle him.

  “I really enjoyed our time together. I like to read it and think of you.”

  Shit! “You can’t think of me like that anymore. I’m your boss.” I realized I was on the verge of getting shrill. I tried again. “Please. I’d feel better knowing it wasn’t there, in black and white. Besides, don’t you remember most of it?”

  “But there’s something really exciting about reading it…” His voice grew huskier. “Knowing you wrote it.” The tone reminded me of the way he sounded that night when his cock was in my mouth. I got goose bumps.

  I started to speak but nothing came out. I cleared my throat, tore my eyes away from his magnificence and tried to pull myself together yet again.

  “Please,” I said, firmly but quietly.

  He waited for me to look back at him then stared into my eyes for a moment, heating me through and through. He strode over and sat down in my chair. I was struck by how appropriate he looked behind the elegant cherry wood desk Mr. Murray had gifted me with when he’d made me vice president.

  Ryan typed for several seconds then clicked the mouse a few times. He paused and looked up at me. It was strange the way I sucked in a sudden, involuntary breath every time we made eye contact.

  “Would you like to watch?” he asked. Why did everything he said sound sexual to me? I walked around behind him and watched as he deleted the email, then emptied his trash bin. “Feel better?” he asked. He sounded like he genuinely cared whether I felt better or not.

  He stood and we were suddenly very close. He reached up and smoothed the hair back from my face with one finger. I breathed harder but tried to keep from letting my eyes fall closed again.

  There it was—that tension that comes before a kiss. A kiss you’ve been waiting for all through dinner and a movie from a man who—

  My brain suddenly started functioning again. This wasn’t a date. This was my employee. Just as his face moved toward mine, I ducked away and dashed around the desk in record time, narrowly avoiding being swept away into what surely would have been one of the hottest kisses of my life.

  Damn. My thighs were squeezing together and everything between the tops of them ached. What the hell was I supposed to do with this guy? I couldn’t have a clandestine affair with him because he was my employee. Even if he wasn’t, he was drastically youn
ger and it would make me look like some cougar on the prowl…or worse yet, like I’d taken on a gigolo.

  I looked at him pleadingly. Surely he understood my situation.

  “What time do you take lunch?” he asked.

  Good. We were back to business. He probably wanted to know if we staggered our lunches so one of us could be here at all times. “Around twelve thirty or one, if I have time to go out.”

  “Okay, great. We’ll have a get-acquainted lunch at twelve thirty, then.” He strode out of my office as if he owned the place.

  Did my assistant just order me to lunch? And why am I turned on by that? I shook my head to get the goofy schoolgirl out of there. This Ryan really needed to understand who the boss was around here.

  * * * * *

  Shit, she was hot in her tweed suit! And to know she was even hotter with it off was almost too much to take. Did anyone else here have a clue as to how long and shapely her legs were under that skirt? And her breasts might not look like much with the jacket hiding them, but they were beautifully, perfectly round and fit just right in my hands. As I sat out at her assistant’s desk, in plain sight of anyone who walked by, my cock kept saluting the mental image of her.

  Great. I’d finally made it to the main office and I’d regressed twenty years to the time when I couldn’t control my erections.

  I’d gotten myself into a hell of a situation this time. My grandfather and I had planned this since I was in college. After two bachelor’s degrees and a master’s at Yale, I’d finally been able to start living the dream I’d had since I was a little boy. I was training to take over my grandfather’s company. But Gramps was a self-made man and he wanted me to understand everything from the ground up without any special treatment. I’d worked for several years as a field trainer then moved to sales. The client contact had been invaluable for understanding what companies wanted from us. I never mentioned that I was President and CEO Frederick Murray’s grandson.

  From the beginning, my grandfather made it clear I was only doing this to learn, not to spy on his employees, in whom he had great confidence. He didn’t want me treated with kid gloves.

  And now, I’d finally met Celeste Phillips. My grandfather had talked about her with admiration many times. She’d been instrumental in expanding his company from a small safety-training operation to a multifaceted, nationwide training organization. I remembered being impressed with the scripts she’d written when I first had to learn them in the field. But I never imagined the woman who wrote them could be so—

  Fuck, there it went again. I put a file on my lap to cover my hard-on. This was ridiculous. Regardless of my raging lust for this woman, I was finally at the last step before openly training at my grandfather’s side to be his successor. I was only here for a short time to get an idea of how Celeste managed the regional trainers and witness the launch of our newest training program.

  The strange thing was, it felt like a lot more than lust, which was ridiculous since I hardly knew her. And I couldn’t explain what had happened between us to my grandfather, which meant I couldn’t tell anyone the truth.

  Besides, right now, she seems to barely tolerate my presence.

  So, I needed to pull it together and try to act like her assistant should act, learn the inner workings of the customer service and AOB—appropriate office behavior—training management, and move on.

  And if she went through with lunch, it would be purely professional. I’d fulfill the rest of the agreement with my grandfather. Her fears would be put to rest.

  If only I could stop mentally removing that tweed suit every time I saw her.

  * * * * *

  A couple of hours later, I was starting to think lunch wasn’t such a good idea. As we’d ridden to the restaurant and ordered our food, Celeste had been a model of professionalism. No one watching her—including me—would suspect there was anything between us at all.

  But when she crossed her legs under the table, her foot brushed my calf and my body lit up like a roman candle. Had she done it on purpose? I looked directly into her eyes. No, I was pretty sure she hadn’t. But I had to know if she felt “it” too.

  “Celeste, I was hoping we could have a conversation on a more…personal topic,” I began.

  “I don’t see how that would be productive,” she said curtly. She might as well have said, “Talk to the hand,” but I couldn’t let it go that easily. I couldn’t shake the feeling that if I was ever going to make a fool of myself over a woman, this was the one worth doing it over.

  “I felt something…unusual that night,” I tried again.

  “I’m sure,” she said, averting her eyes.

  “I’m not talking about the down-and-dirty sex part,” I replied. She glanced at the tables around us, even though we were speaking too quietly for anyone else to hear. “I’ve had plenty of that before.”

  Her gaze shot up to mine. Was that jealousy? Or was she annoyed because I sounded like I was bragging? I decided to try another approach. “Why did you run out on me?” I asked, but I didn’t like the way the words sounded coming out of my mouth. Way too vulnerable.

  Her shoulders fell and her gaze dropped to the fake floral centerpiece on the table. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. “I had to go.”

  Hmmm… Maybe I was getting somewhere with this vulnerable act…not that it was really an act with her. “You agreed to stay,” I added. “I waited a long time for you to come out.”

  Her eyes met mine again. Her face held a pained expression. “Really?” she asked.

  “Really. I think I deserve an explanation.”

  She let out a loud breath. “Ryan, I know you haven’t been with the company long, but do you understand what I do here?”

  Of course I knew exactly what she did there, but I wanted to hear her explanation in full, so I played dumb. “I’m not sure. Why don’t you explain?”

  “I’m responsible for all the non-safety, non-technical trainings that go on in this company. ‘No Means No’, sensitivity training, AOBs… I wrote most of them myself. In my trainings, I advise employers and employees to block out any sexual or romantic thoughts about coworkers…and if they feel compelled to pursue a relationship, to start sending out resumes because they’ve just chosen that person over their job.”

  Yes, I remembered that well from when I delivered the trainings, and it made perfect sense to me at the time. And yet, I couldn’t seem to accept the idea now.

  “But Celeste—”

  “Ryan, a relationship with any coworker would hurt my credibility, and you work under— You’re my subordinate. This would seriously damage my career in general and if anyone found out what happened between us at…” She paused, unwilling to say it.

  “Fantasm?”

  Her eyes darted around the room again then focused on me. “My life would be decimated.”

  Her characterization was pretty dramatic, but the more I thought about it, the more I could see how scary this was for her. Once a rumor got started it took on a life of its own. She didn’t know I wasn’t really her subordinate and she had no way of knowing I could keep a secret.

  I was tempted to tell her the truth right then. But I’d sworn an oath to Gramps that I’d see this through without “spilling the beans”, as he called it, to ensure no special treatment.

  And I’d never wanted any before. But now I was dying for special treatment. Very special treatment. I had a brain flash of her long, gorgeous legs spread for me as she bent over, her trim, round ass poking up at me, waiting for me to—

  “So, are we agreed?” Celeste asked.

  “To what?”

  “I talked to Diane, my usual assistant, today. There’s a possibility she’ll be out longer than expected. I’d like you to put in the two weeks then, even if she’s still out, ask for a transfer to another department. Tell them this isn’t your cup of tea. I’ll give you a good reference.”

  She had no way of knowing I had other things to do in two weeks anyway. Still, it st
ung that she could let go of me so easily.

  “What if I don’t want to go?” I asked obstinately.

  Her face practically crumbled in front of me. She looked away and took several deep, angry breaths.

  “Well, I can’t exactly fire you with what you know. You’re in the catbird seat. Congratulations,” she said sarcastically.

  Now I felt like a jerk.

  “Celeste, I would never, ever tell anyone what happened between us under any circumstances…ever. I promise.”

  “And are you a man of your word?” she asked, peering into my eyes intently.

  “I am.”

  “Okay,” she said, pushing her chair back. “Let’s get to work.”

  I was ready to go, relieved that I’d only promised not to tell what happened before. She hadn’t thought to make me swear off her in the future.

  Hadn’t thought to? Or hadn’t wanted to? That remained to be seen.

  Chapter Three

  “This FedEx arrived for you.”

  One look at Ryan and I startled, knocking my special pen off my desk. He’d been my assistant for over a week now. Why were my nerves still so raw? Oh yeah, because my new assistant had the power to ruin my career. Yet every time I saw him, I wanted to sigh like a fourteen-year-old girl over her teen idol crush. I’d never had such a hard time avoiding someone, not so much because of our work situation but because of my hormones. I was drawn to him like a starving bird to a breadcrumb.

  “Thanks,” I said. “Just put it on my desk.” I started looking around for my pen.

  “Let me help,” Ryan said.

  “It’s only a pen, but it’s one my father gave me when I graduated from college.” And he’d actually said, “I’m proud of you” for once, when he’d handed it to me. In fact, my dad’s remote attitude was probably the reason I worked so hard for Mr. Murray, a man who validated me on a regular basis.

  I leaned over, trying to see where the pen had fallen. I didn’t want to move my chair for fear of accidentally rolling over it.